...but I'm still here, don't worry.
If you're interested in reading my excuses, here they are (if not, skip down a paragraph): I haven't had internet at home for a week, grades were due yesterday so I've been calculating 59 grades in the past 3 days, and there have been no significant changes in my life to warrant a new blog post (based on the last life-altering update).
I'm now approximately 90 days away from leaving Nigeria and am definitely in denial. I experience two strains of thought in some sort of mental inhale-exhale pattern. They are:
1. I can't believe I'm leaving. I am abandoning my students and everyone I've tried to invest in this year. Walking away is the most irresponsible thing I could do. I don't even have a job in the States. I just hope that when I leave, it's not forever. I hope I get to come back someday.
2. I am so excited to go home. I'm so excited to be with people I love, to be known and familiar to people who have known me since before I was Miss Thomas the Literature teacher. I can't wait to read to my nephew, take a road trip with my brother, go on a run in my favorite forest preserve, and experience the change of seasons (Can you say "sweatshirt weather"???).
This is where I am. Some people call it a rock and a hard place. It's not comfortable.
As to the fear of the unknown, a great friend reminded me today, "Look what happened last time you didn't have a job." She's so right - God got me to Nigeria in 5 weeks and I have had some of the happiest months of my life here. He can totally handle the next phase of my life, whatever and wherever that may be.
As another great friend reminded me, He is able.
1 year ago